May 19, 2009

Today is a big day! I have decided that since I am horrible at keeping in touch and my family and friends are starting to think i'm a shut-in that I need to keep them updated via a brand spanking new BLOG! omg YAY I can feel your excitement from here!

OK so I got the kids involved here and they are really excited to help me get this blog underway. I had a breakthrough today about myself. I thought back to when I was 17 years old and asked my 17 year old Karen "hey...do you like what you've become?" I don't know her answer but I think I got the gist of it when she slapped me in the face and walked away. Sooooooo I've decided that I need to stop living my life according to what I think will make other people happy and I'm going to live my life doing what makes ME happy. I know this is a breakthrough and I'm sure nobody thought of this before me...(sad huh?)

OK first things first. As many of you know I am a licensed pharmacy technician with a lot of experience in the pharmaceutical field now. I think I've done every different type of pharmacy work out there minus the whole "getting my doctorate" and all that. Due to some recent financial issues we could no longer pay for daycare (for those of you who don't know this...daycare is highway robbery...sometimes as expensive as a house or apt payment) and I had to leave my job at RxAmerica and try out the stay-at-home-mom thing for a bit. I must say the time I get to spend with my kids is AMAZING and I wouldn't trade it for the world but its lacking in the "income"department. So I started looking at ways to make money at home and all I got out of it is a metric crap ton of SPAM email...it sucks. So if any of you guys know a way I can make a few bucks at home, LET ME KNOW! haha

So my family again due to financial difficulties has moved from our suburban home to an apartment in downtown Salt Lake. I was really hesitant at first but I have to say that its SOOO nice living close to everything. KC's work has a lot of volunteer spots open so KC likes to volunteer whenever he can. They used to do "Boozers buddies" with the Utah Jazz but now that the basketball season is over they now have a table up at the Bee's stadium before and during most games to help support CHIP and some other healthcare programs they have available. We are within walking distance of the stadium so me, KC and the kids just pack up his table stuff and walk down there and its such a pretty walk. This last time we had the pleasure of having KC's sister Heather with us. For those of you who don't know...I freaking love Heather, she is so much fun to be around. So naturally I was very excited to hear she was coming along. :)

OK so that was sorta my "intro" now I'm going in to my "what happened today" post. WELLLLLL it all started out this morning when KC got up early for work he resets the alarm so I can get the kids to school on time. I thought we were all ready to walk out the door with a half hour to spare when I realized that my daughter Tatumn (who is usually first up and ready to go) was hiding in her room under the covers. So I run in there and go "Tatumn hurry! Were gonna be late if you dont get ready fast!" well she just falls apart at the seems...like you wouldn't beleive...I mean she had herself a genuine hissy fit. Kicking, screaming, pulling her freaking hair! I thought she was possessed...she is yelling "I DON'T WANNA GO TO SCHOOL" so I put down the whole "Wow...thats ruff tay...but its just too bad cuz You HAVE to go to school." and then I asked her why all of a sudden she didn't want to go and I got every excuse in the book from "I hate wearing school uniforms" (they aren't that bad) to "There are 2 bullies in my class" Well they are still new to this school and I have a constant email string going between me and their teachers with my constant worrying and fretting over how they are doing in school. I sent a polite little note to check and see how she is doing "socially" in school to her teacher as I found out the hard way that when she was in daycare and one of the kids was rude to her she doesnt fight back, she hides in the corner and refuses to interact with the other kids. I was hoping we weren't going to have another one of those episodes. When I hear back from her teacher I'll be sure to post her response. When I picked them up from school though they were very happy and excited and she said she had a great day so I'm not too worried.

So then we got home and I decided to wage the ever-increasing battle of Kids vs. the television. As soon as we got home I said "Hey! lets grab the Frisbee and go outside and play!" So since I was going with them they got all excited and we ran outside to the nice playground that our apartment has in our backyard and we tossed it around for a bit and the kids showed me their cool "hanging out" poses. So I posted them here. I mean...DANG they are freaking adorable!

OK so here is where I get a little mushy...so bear with me. I just want to say that I love my family soooo much. I have a really bad habit of not asking for help when I really need it but I also have the luxory of knowing that if I needed help that my family is behind me in every way they can be. I know I haven't been myself for a while and this is my first attempt to get the old Karen back so that really mean defiant 17 year old Karen will stop slapping my face. I've had a lot of tough time recently not just financial onces either and when my family found out about them they were shocked because they had NO IDEA what I was going through...I felt like such a turd. I have kept everybody in the dark and its hurt them and honestly its hurt me too...Sometimes I feel like I've been suffering alone in a lot of ways. There are of course a lot of things I wont publicly post about my problems lol BUT I want you all to know how much I love you and care about you and that I think about all of you all the time. I have a lot of time on my hands now and its given me a really big picture view of what I have become. And guess what? I'M GONNA FIX IT! haha If there is one thing I know about myself it's that when I put my mind to something I freaking JUST DO IT (Nike please don't sue me) haha

OK well I'm going to close down for now. Stay tuned! More to come later,

~Ciao